Gillard, the new Macklin

With bad hair and nothing to say, pundits agreed that today Julia Gillard showed all the hallmarks of being the new Jenny Macklin.

"Those are big shoes to fill", said Morgan Pollster Morgan A. Pollster, after an overnight poll showed that Macklin had profile amongst octagenarian newsagency assistants in Newcastle.

Fat woman sues Tracey Spicer

Beatrice Rottleworthy, of Caroline Springs, is suing former newsreader Tracey Spicer for millions in lost earnings as a newsreader. Despite coming top of her journalism course, Rottleworthy missed out when Spicer rocked up in a tight, low-cut red dress at second interview.

"All these years I thought she was chosen on merit" she told The Press Gallery. "I still can't believe it".

Sources say Rottleworthy was only convinced after she saw a leaked copy of interview notes discussing Spicer's "hot pins".

"To be honest, it never occured to me that being a 6 foot willowy blonde would have helped her land the job. I just thought I was just not smart enough."

Rottleworthy says she hopes to give Kmart the flick and set up a small shop somewhere if she succeeds.

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